No headline, no way.
While still thinking about this I stumbled across this post by total stranger and "iMate" Marcus. You are so right. I am 25. And I have nothing to be angry about. I started to work in advertising when I was 20. Straight after finishing school I went to a small ad agency and then to Germany's leading copywriting school, Texterschmiede. After joining Leagas Delaney and then later TBWA I work at Kolle Rebbe for nearly 4 years now. Shot some commercials, went from junior to mid-level, won some awards and stuff. Privately I have found a wonderful woman that I would call "love for life". And I live in one of the nice parts of Hamburg. It's called Eppendorf and you might compare it to Notting Hill (without the prices). My life is somehow a comfort zone. Nothing to complain about. Happy. Nothing to fight for. Everything is fine. But probably this is the point why I am unsatisfied. Everything is okay. But what does okay mean? Nice, medium sized, fine. Not very bad, not very good. For me okay might be the most unsatisfying word. At our school we used to say that okay is the little brother of shit. And it is. I am not happy. Because (that's what I think) when you are a creative okay is nothing but mediocreness. To put this right: This feeling mostly applies to the limitations and borders that are set for my work. This okay does not include Meike. She is great. And I truely and deeply love here. But back to work. I love my agency. But wait. I love most of the people. I don't like the rules. Tidy up the room. No pictures on walls, nothing on your desk except your MacBook and the phone and maybe some briefs. How is a creative person supposed to work in an environment like that? And furthermore I maybe a bit tired of always pushing our creative directors to not always present the "safe" ideas. I had some key moment a few weeks back. I was working late and at 2 am changed the whole presentation because I was not satisfied. I was supposed to present the work so I thought that I have to like it nevermind what my creative directors might think. On the next day I presented to the client. It was great. They said it was the best presentation they ever saw from my agency. The reaction of my creative directors? Angry. But what should they say? "Hey we left agency before the presentation was finished and then this kid came along, changed everything, put stuff into the presentation we never saw and then made the client happy like never before!?" Probably not.
I know that maybe I could have fallen (is this grammatically correct?) on my butt. Nonetheless my brain felt better for it. So back to the general situation. After thinking about all this stuff I remembered this video on the website of Wieden+Kennedy. And Ademar is so right.
That's why I promised to myself that I will leave my comfort zone. Jobwise. Once a wise man said "Do one thing every day that scares you." And that's nearly what I will do. I will stop to wait for my dreams to knock on my door. I will ram their door or at least ring their bell. What door? I will tell you. Don't laugh. Since my second week in advertising my aim was to one day work for Wieden+Kennedy in Amsterdam. So why didn't you send your portfolio there and see what they will say, you might ask. An awarded person can't be that bad in what he's doing, right? Right. But I was afraid. It's like asking the most wonderful girl at school if she would like to go out with the president of the chess club (or something like that). But now I am angry (thanks, Marcus). No, I am unsatisfied. And dissatisfaction, not money, is what makes the world go round. And while some may say that I am stupid to think about probably leaving a well-paid job in one of the top agencies in Germany for maybe an internship at some agencies in London or maybe for a trainee job at WK Amsterdam, I just can say: I am 25 and have the right to do stupid things. Or at least on thing a day that scares me.
And believe me, I am scared. Afraid of the big fat "NO!" out of the mouth of some people I deeply respect and would like to work with. But I've got nothing to loose. Because the thing that's most important in my life is this one human being that I love (Hello, Meike). That's a thing I said to Marcus. Unsatisfaction can settle free all the energy you'll need to change things. But it can't recharge its batteries. So let's change something and see what time may bring. Maybe I end up staying in Hamburg but trying to make this place THE place and maybe change will happen. Updates, anyone?
Oh, here is one of the text I think might fit on this:
"I work, I wonder, get things done yet take my losses, too. I kill my darlings, kiss some asses, tell a lie (but not to you). I move the mountain, I cross the ocean. I throw the dice, cut the crap, confront. I sharpen edges. I curse, I claim, I rock the cradle, thrive. I scream. Of love, of fear, of joy. I excel, exclaim, exhale. Maybe get more wrinkles, more grey hair, perhaps take a diet.....and fail. I question answers, change the odds, at times I ride the tide. I break the rules and bite the dust. Mouth open wide. I beat the drum, I blow your horn, or - who knows - ring your bell. I stir the fire, I make great waves, shoot horses, stars as well. I random order, unchain hearts, I think big fish of you. I want, create, believe, persist and fail. I get up, I dream, I wish and do."
What do you think. Does this make sense? Or am I just stupid? Feel free to comment. And: Thanks for the attention.
UPDATE:
This whole thing somehow got it's own blog now. It's called "This is getting scary" and you can find it here.
More stuff about scare and Wieden+Kennedy on THIS blog you can find here, here, here, here and here.