Dear Mr. Annoying Crap Mail Writer.

This is for all you Maritza Davidsons, Jaquenette Roselles, Kris Cowans, Hiram Vis, Cruz Elmores, Loraine Byers or whatever bloody character you SPAM mailers come up with. For now and all time: I am neither interested in enlarging my penis until it can knock at the door of my girlfriend's larynx nor in purchasing Dreamwaver or Photoshop CS3 or whatever bloody programme on this planet. Furthermore I am not interested in joining the republican, the liberal, the socialist, the green or whatever party on this planet. I won't forward any chain letter, subscribe any petition or sign any newspaper / magazine / newsletter you generously inform me about. My interest in becoming a follower of the Process Church of the Final Judgement, Scientology, the Church of the First Days, the Church of the Last Days and the Church of any god-given Day is as low as my wish to get one more email about Kabbalah and any Kabbalah-related product. For god's sake I don't care about all this stuff. Not in the past, present, future or any time froanother galaxy in another dimension. Please, bother me wherever you like. On the TV. On billboards. In the radio. But not on my mail account. I hate the feeling of checking my mails and being pleased about getting some of them only to find out that they we not send by lovely people I know but you dastard bunch I have never met. Oh, and while you're reading this, please let me add something: No, I am not interested in purchasing a SPAM filter.